Initiating close relationships is not simple. We’ve set forth a new theory of relationship initiation (applicable to initiating both friendships and romantic relationships) in which we emphasize that relationship initiation involves a complex dance of self-presentation, partner evaluation, and self-protection from rejection. While some characteristics of relationships slowly accumulate (mutual understanding, acceptance, and care), others drop (self-presentation, partner evaluation and self-protection. Commitment to a relationship (and the end of relationship initiation) means more than just deciding to remain in a relationship; it is marked by commitment to being mutually responsive and dropping self-protection, day-to-day partner evaluation, and self-protection.) The theory is described in a new paper by Clark, Beck & Aragon (2017) listed under our publications.